I have never really begun this blog due to being a big chicken, scared to bare it all scared to let my feelings out to be read by whoever wants to.  This I can now see and realise, that I can not live in fear not in any aspect of my life.  I push myself in many ways, mainly it has been physically but now I am having to push mentally to break down the walls that my fears create for me.  I find it easier to cope with physical fear than this mental block I keep giving myself.  Well anyway I am going to put some stuff out there for all to read.  Since I last wrote on this I was heading to the Caribbean my mind fixed on getting my yachting career back on track.  I caught a flight over as I had literally missed the boat  to cross the atlantic too late.  I arrived in sunny Antigua and started to have a Caribbean adventure.  I was booked into the infamous Pineapple house over looking 2 of the main marinas.  I had one of the best flights I have ever been on with Virgin, oh i was well looked after and arrived shiny and new.  Pineapple house was busy when I arrived into this beautiful space of well looked after gardens, white verandas and beds placed around the large decking area, each having a very romantic looking mosquito net about them.  The beds were covered with bright flowery patterns each different yet matching, the few walls were adorned with shells and mirrors some one had an eye for interior.  All along the left side was the white veranda open to the sight of the Marinas and the beautiful blue ocean in a large lagoon.  On the far side big rolling hills covered in lush green plants.  It was stunning and lively a great combination.  I am greeted by a woman with a warm and friendly smile, always a nice thing to see when you are a little nervous as to whether you have made the right decision of leaving all that is safe and cheap in the parental home.  Well too bloody late by that point.  Her name was Libby and this was her place.  She had the pleasure of growing up in Antigua, coming from a sailing family who arrived there in the 1960’s.  The crew house was busy, I am so glad I had booked my bed  normally I wing it and then stress out when I get there, but not this time. Some people were sprawled out on the sofas that run along the veranda scattered with brightly printed cushions, others at tables with laptop’s I presume frantically looking for work.  I got handed a rum punch by Libby who was making me feel so welcome, she has an amazing warmth to her.  Soon I did too thanks to the rum, always makes you nice and warm.  All the other people staying at the crew house were friendly and happy the atmosphere was exciting as it was all just about to kick off, the season that is.  I had a feeling I had picked the right place.